December 2009
when I met him, I knew I wanted to know him. I wanted to be able to call him a friend. I wanted to be able to actually talk with him. it’s taken nearly three years, but I can now honestly call him a friend. it’s made me so happy running into him here and there and not just be someone who directed him once, but rather someone he likes to be around. I love it!
why would I waste my time to go out with someone who has already made it understood that we won’t be in an actual relationship…ever?
Christmas eve “church” was fantastic. say my twin, Taylor. saw a bunch of my friends. got tons of hugs from this boy I know who gives amazing hugs. spent a couple hours with my newest “friend” while also getting slightly harassed by the pastors son who has been a complete jerk to me for the last few years. lol. Christmas day was nice. slow going in the morning, but once...
my friend and i were talking about all the awkwardness we’re going through while our younger siblings are growing up.
her brother and my sister are almost the same age.
he’s 15 and my sister’s 14.
they talk like they’re at least 17.
i had been talking to my friend about the sickening text messages my sister and her bf send back and forth.
my friend and i were...
so the guy i’ve been talking to for the last couple of months called me “baby” tonight.
on one hand it’s a step forward for us, but on the other hand it’s one of those pet names i don’t like.
>_<
but. i. like. him. so. MUCH.
either way, i’m hopefully going up to spend a weekend with him next month.
it’s an 8hr drive but i haven’t...
jerk!
him: suuuppp
me: nadda. you?
him: nadddda, just got done playing some more cod haha
addict. whats been going on?
me: so, you never did reply to the message i sent you when you added me as a friend...
him: which message?
me: the one that said "umm..... do i know you? "
him: oh right, do you?
me: idk. do i?
him: haha we shall never know
me: that's not funny >_<
him: uh o
me: but seriously, come on. do i?
him: really no idea
me: well have i talked to you at all before the other day?
him: noppe
me: m'kay. then i don't. lol.
him: I add randoms
so hello
me: eh. i usually don't. but, hello.
him: haha
new leaf?
me: i suppose. i was actually really just hoping, by the limited info on your profile, you were someone i had talked to before.
him: haha, it is me
how you been?
me: seriously?!
him: yeah
me: i fuckin hate you then!
him: oh ok let it all out...
grandma: man she's coughing quite a bit. isn't she?
mom: you know, it's funny, when she coughs she coughs like she's dying, but when she's not coughing you would never think anything is wrong.
grandma: so she's not dying?
mom: no, i'm not even sure how sick she really is.
as much as i hate hearing how attractive some people may think i am (from what they’ve seen) when [he] says it i’m so much more ok with it. [he] knows me better and actually has seen and knows me in person. i have a bit more respect for anything [he] has to say because [he] has seen more than just selective pictures i chose to place on the internet.
woah. so my dad totally decided to surprise us all and fly up for the night. his plane got in around 440pm and his flight out is at 730am. he seriously came home just to have dinner and spend the night with us. this is what i love about winter season, the fact that the boat is close enough for him to do that. during the summer when the boat’s in the Med. it’s too far for him to come...
“…[she] just did the back stroke like she was reaching for a falling...”
– Beautiful Swimmers- Jimmy Buffett
i hate when someone says they won’t date you because they “don’t really know you”. I’m sorry, but isn’t the point of dating to get to know the other person?? whatever.
so i was at church tonight becuase my kids were singing a couple songs to promote our Christmas program. i don’t really go to church much anymore so it was already kinda awkward. also, because i don’t really go anymore and there were a few years where i didn’t go at all i guess a lot of people forgot who i was. so i spent most of the night with a friend of mine that i’ve...
“if you want me like nothing else and i want you more than that….what would...”
me: i just crawled into bed and found undies under my pillow, i think the tooth fairy and the sandman fucked in my bed
Brian: at least someone's getting some.
me: i'm kinda bummed i wasn't invited, i mean it is MY bed.
Brian: fairytale threesomes are never as good as you imagine...
me: but it's the tooth fairy! she's gotta be good though.
Brian: yeah.... sure go for the lesbo comment
"Pet Names"
i’ve decided pet names are completely ruined for me…pretty much forever.
Baby: i don’t EVER want to be called “baby”, never have, but with my dog’s name being “Baby” and all just makes it worse.
Babe: as far as i’m concerned, that started off way lower than “baby”. i have a few guy friends who call me babe but i seriously...
you broke me down, but i’ll break you apart!
people always tell me i should learn to trust others more.
i try.
as soon as i do though they make me feel even worse.
then i remember why i never trust people.
sorry to be a bother
you know how I feel yet insist all is fine when it’s not. I realize I’ll never be good enough, but I’m too busy trying to show you I am more than you’re making me out to be.