February 2010
i was talking to Chad about everything and anything. whatever. then out of nowhere he texts me “so how are you and alex?” ummmmmmmmmmmm am i the only one who feels like Alex wants to punch me in the face? like do you really need to ask how we are? i thought it was pretty damn obvious. oh well.
her: "iloveyou"
him: "huh?"
really?!
sucks for her i guess.
lol
awkward...
1. found out my friend’s favorite porn star.
-it explains sooooo much about why he went out with those ugly chicks he did.
2. found out another one of my friend’s gf who we all went to school with and comes off as even more of a “good girl” than i do is a major whore.
lol!
seriously, last few nights have been awkward as hell.
“how is it a mistake, giving a child a life?”
“i know it’s beautiful, but is it a mistake?”
January 2010
life is getting the best of me once again.
it’s leaving the worst and it’s not ok.
i’m dying a little more with every day.
=/
“thank you for watching me make a fool out of myself for money, even though no...”
– Ry.
lol!
i laugh at people who “model” for soft-core porn and don’t think they did anything suggestive.
haha!!
Dave: "i could really go for a nice margarita right now"
Alex& Chad: "Dave, you're such a girl"
watching “Cops”; wishing i was with my favorite cop.
=/
help keep my mind off shit, ask me stuff. →
mom: "i wish i could find the night vision thing we used to have"
me: "you're such a creeper"
mom: "well there's never anyone one there during the day aside from for like 2mins now and then. i want to see if anything goes on over there at night"
me: "like i said. creeper"
...later...
mom: "if you think about it at all during the night, like while you're up later, check and see if there are any other cars over there, other than the black truck"
me: "mom! i'm not gonna spy on that house!"
mom: "well if no one's living there and no one's there during the day i want to know if anyone's there at night. i don't want them like having a meth lab or something next-door"
me: *thinks to self* well if there was a meth lab it would fit right in with the crack and whore house we used to have over on the corner. what the fuck, Davie!? you're a farming town!
-yeah, our dumbass neighbors are ridiculous. can't wait until they're completely out of here.
Yesterday (weds the 27th) I was SUPPOSED to go out with a guy “friend” of mine. It was the last chance I was giving him because he had canceled on me several times before. Of course, he canceled last night. Since he did I was like “ok, well I’m gonna go to church and help load up the trailer for Haiti” and he was like “oh, I might go too. Maybe we can slip away for a...
i hate that i completely took advantage of my childhood growing up.
looking back on it, it was amazing.
i had an amazing group of friends in my neighborhood (of which i only really talk to one of like eight still)
despite all the verbal and emotional abuse i suffered at school for years when people eased up it really was a lot of fun.
i have amazing memories from growing up. it’s...
*since 10th grade, i haven't done anything "youth group" involved at my church. i help with major stuff, i go to church on holidays and occasionally in between. well with our church being one of the drop off centers for both Mission Haiti and the Red Cross' donations in Broward County our church is filled with thousands of boxes full of stuff. so i went last night to help load our 2nd semi-trailer with boxes. while i was there my "friend", Alex, was in the trailer packing the boxes. during a lull in the boxes this happened*
Alex: "i haven't given you a hug yet"
*jumps down*
*hug*
Dave (the head of the youth department): "maybe now Lillian will start hanging around more"
Me: "i wouldn't count on it. i've gotten too use to not being involved with the youth group around here"
Alex: *looking slightly upset* "well, then that was a wasted hug"
haha.
glad to hear i'm a waste >_>
thanks church.
>_
wow
don’t put me through hell when i see you then text me an hour or so after totally bitching me out via text and try to hook up.
not happening.
do NOT
say we’re friends then completely blow me off around your other friends!
seriously, that’s such a shit move it’s not even funny.
i am SOOOOOO fuckin pissed now, because a couple of ass holes decided they wanted to act like we’re all cool then give me a fuckin hard time for trying to give a damn because they were more worried about what their other slutty ass friends...
“i’ll draw your bath and i’ll load your gun, but i hope so bad that...”
– “A Better Place, A Better Time” - Streetlight Manifesto
i know we were never anything, but it still sucks so much.
i fell so hard for you just to land on my face feeling like a fool.
i would have given anything for you, now i’m left with nothing.
wow.
someone asked me today if the reason i don’t have a bf despite the fact that i’m already 20 is because i’m just not interested in guys.
pssssh…
i am VERY interested in guys, it’s just, guys aren’t interested in me.
that simple.
oh well though.
he calls her “sweetheart”, she calls him “hun”; this will not end well. let’s watch it all unfold. shall we?
i have a bit of a crush on a minor…this is not ok. on the plus side, he’ll be legal this year >_<
a little thank you?
i’ve made a LOT of mistakes since high school. most people who know about them use them to their advantage. they know i regret what i did so when they want me to do something for them they bring those things up. it honestly frightens me that the wrong people know too much. however, there is someone who i have stepped way out of line with, yet he’s left it as far behind as i would love...
i find it funny how south florida is like portrayed as having AMAZING weather 24/7/365. in all actuality it pours pretty much all summer except maybe like 10days in 4months, when it’s not pouring it’s well into the 90’s (f) and 95-100%humidity all the time. we get like 3weeks of temps lower than 75 (f). in all honesty, south florida weather sucks! just sayin.
as much as i dislike my family and as much as i dislike elderly people i LOVE my dad’s mom. she’s always been my favorite of my 6 grandparents. losing her is one of the hardest things i’ve been going through. i’ve been trying to hold these tears back for months, but everytime i hear my mom on the phone with someone else mention it, it gets so hard.
hopefully my dad will be...
after falling asleep in your arms I wanna wake up at your side.
=/
I just want someone to hold me while I sleep.
i don’t think i’ve ever fallen so hard for anyone as quickly as i have for [you]